Night of the Creeps

The weirdest detail about Nipplegate (aka when Janet Jackson traumatized the nation by showing off her nipple during the Superbowl halftime show) was that hundreds of people who didn't know how to get in touch with the FCC called 911 to complain to the police about what they had seen on their TV. There seems to be an unacceptably large number of people who do not begin to understand what the “emergency” in “emergency services” means. You shouldn't call it if something minor like bad service at a drive through window happens to you. No, you should call it if something important happens, like say, your ex-boyfriend shows up to your formal dance leaking brain-sucking space leeches from his face, and you're worried that the leeches will murder everyone in sight.

Night of the Creeps is a tongue in cheek horror movie about parasites from beyond the stars that infect a wholesome young man in 1959, then lay dormant for 27 years after his body gets cryogenically frozen before any of them can hatch. After his body is accidentally thawed by some college students as part of a frat prank the space leeches revive themselves and make a bee line for the local college – specifically, a sorority house that's about to throw a big formal dance. Although there aren't many of the slimy bloodsuckers at first, it seems unlikely that they would stop after they’ve wormed their way inside a few co-eds. No, these brain-drinkers seem like they have grand designs on the whole planet, which after all, is full of billions and billions of skulls. To be sure, they represent a good reason to call the police.

The problem is that the police aren’t exactly sure what to do to solve a problem like extraterrestrial brain leeches. Oh, sure, they can solve it in certain rudimentary ways – when in doubt, shoot it in the head – but that isn’t always the best solution. In this case, exploding the head of an infested person liberates the leeches, allowing them to scurry away from their no longer useful host towards anything that might still have a pulse. Basically, they are candy leaving a broken pinata, with the difference being that they're able to go look for another pinata to hide in.

 This man is clearly doing Science

This man is clearly doing Science

Eventually the local cop who found the original corpse all those years ago and who is still trying to clean up the mess figures out that a flamethrower might be a better weapon to use in this fight. There’s even a flamethrower in the police's weapons cache. Unfortunately, when he asks to use it he’s rebuffed because he doesn’t have the proper requisition forms. This raises a good question: what paperwork would he have filled out to document his investigation? There probably isn’t a law on the books outlawing the existence of cerebellum chewing aliens, but there should be, because they do represent a threat towards the public good.

There are times in this movie when the local detective (and the college kids who end up working as his helpers) are a little overwhelmed by the circumstance they’re trapped in, but they all show a heart warming ability to just wing it. Hell, the head of the sorority rebounds rather quickly after watching her ex-boyfriend’s head explode and gets up to speed on how to use a flamethrower in no time. It’s kind of heartening to see how adaptable and tough Americans can be in the right circumstances. Now if only the right circumstances included “seeing a nipple on tv”….

Winner: Me

Night of the Creeps on IMDB