On the center of every B-Movie Bingo game card is a blank square. The blank square is the most insane out-of-left-field scene in the middle of a mostly generic movie. This movie’s blank square was one of the best I’ve seen in the years I’ve been playing this dumb game.
This is going to take a bit of set up, so bear with me: A cat burglar calls the cops to taunt them that he’s about to be leaving a diamond vault with a sack full of diamonds. A cop shows up to find that the cat burglar is his identical twin brother who has just broken out of prison. The cat burglar brother makes his escape, half because he’s outwitted the cop and half because the cop lets him go. When the cop gets back to the precinct empty handed, the other cops rib him by giving him a large box with a kitten inside of it, because that’s the only cat he’s going to catch today. In the next scene he enters his home with a [now full grown] cat and a bag of litter. He proceeds to feed the cat Gerber baby food on a dinner plate and then dumps the entire bag of litter into his kitchen sink. Apparently, he doesn’t have time to actually make a proper litter box because he has to immediately do a regimen of shirtless weightlifting in his living room while his cheerleader-ish next door neighbor listens through the wall.
Now, there’s a lot that’s ridiculous about this movie. The twin leads look like what would happen if Sandra Bullock and He-Man had a baby, which is funny enough. They threaten someone with being trapped in a tanning booth until they melt. The only outfit that the cop twin wears is a Raiders sweatshirt that’s small enough that it is always rising up above his grossly overstretched bellybutton, and the other twin has a softcore painting of himself in Miami Vice colors over his fireplace.
All of that stuff is pretty great, but the cat scene is what killed me, because of course a cops and robbers movie with body builders as leads is going to have bad wardrobes and weak one liners. That’s a given. But feeding a cat baby food was not a given. They chose to film it and they chose to leave it in. That’s the sort of reward that keeps suckers like me watching these generic terrible movies even though for the most part they are generic and terrible.