Last summer I left the door to the garage open for most of the summer because the cat always wanted to go outside at first light, and as first light got earlier and earlier it was more of a pain in the ass to let her out. She could get out a small hole in a screen on the side of the house and no one on the street would be any the wiser, so it was perfect. Or it was perfect until the cat brought live mice into my room on two consecutive days. At that point I decided that it was less of a pain in the ass to let her out of the window at an early hour than it was to let a mouse into the room whenever she wanted to bring it in.
So a few days ago it was one of the nicest days all year, 80 degrees and sunny, so I left the window in my room open. At one point I sat down on my bed to read only to see this white cat from the neighborhood run out from under my bed. She had come through the open window and was now lost somewhere in my house. I opened the door to the garage to let her out at her leisure, and I left it open overnight because I wasn’t quite sure if she’d managed to leave.
Cut to: five in the morning. The door has been open about twelve hours and the cat has already brought another live mouse into the room. We’re less than one day into the summer and she’s already lost garage privileges. It’s going to be a long summer with a lot of early morning fights between us, I think. Truly, there will be much of the cat vs. Kirk in 2014.
Anyway, this movie is about the tedium of a long distance roadtrip, and I have very little to say about that because that is a terrible thing to make a movie about. If it’s done well it will be boring, and if it is done poorly it will be even more boring. It also features one of the most misogynistic endings I’ve ever seen in a movie, and it disgusted me enough that I don’t even want to dignify it by describing it. Count me in with the old guy in the photo above and let’s just move on.
Winner: The Cat